Took me forever to think of that title for this entry. Alright, so what’s on my mind. Games. I’m asbolutely all for getting an Xbox 360 now. Can you believe how long it took to decide on choosing the Xbox. Ok, so I had alot of help this month to get somewhere. There’s inlufences coming from all over the place, so much that I wannt record my voice talking about it right now cause I can’t keep up by tpying this all. Phew, breathe. So I’ve been thinking, I gotta become an expert at something. It seems to me that I can’t be an expert of what I was originally thinking, programming that is, but I can certainly keep it as a hobby. I can accept that. It seems more and more that I want to have myself exposed thogh - well why else would I be blogging now right? CheapyD said something good about blogging on the last CAGcast, about blogging even if no one is reading. Cause blogging does end up becoming part of your profolio. I listened to a friend’s podcast on RPGamer and it reminded me, or made me really want to podcast again. Its really cool to talk about games and it doesn’t have to be serious. None of these podcasts are that serious. Though the people behind the voice you listen too are really smart people, I think. They’re real. Dammit I’m afraid there would be too many distractions while I’m writing all of this, that I would forget all the things I wanted to say here. So yeah, I really want to get back to podcasting again. Maybe I even want to be the one pushing it. Its just a shame for me I think, that I think my voice isn’t that cool. I’m not a good voice actor, though I wanna believe I could change that, or change my mind set. I need the practice. However before I can start podcasting, I need something to talk about! With that said I think I really wanna get more and more into the gaming scene. How can I be something in the gaming industry? I like thinking that I’m already in it, I consider myself to be part of the game industry since my job is being one of the guys maintaining a mmo game portal! So how can I be recongized for it though? I really want to move up from here, without moving away from my spot, cause I’m really comfortable here. So I think the answer is podcasting .. and website building. Gotta have something cool. Gotta advertise it and get people listening. Kinda like Dave at proatcooking.com, how did that come about? I realize they’re not capturing alot of attention, at least I don’t think, but the world is big, and your bound to get some people watch your creative stuff as there will also be people to say that your stuff is crap and move on. The only mistake we’re making here is not trying enough. It takes real dedication to get that ball rolling right? So Mahmud pointed out that probably I can contribute more to the podcast now that I play stuff on the DS and I’m gonna get the 360. I think we’re forgetting something here, I’m in the industry! Ok maybe that’s not all that true if you’re comparing me to the guy interviewing game designers on Gamespot. I’m on the publisher side now, its safe for me to say that. Yet the other side of this industry seems cooler, to talk about the games. I want to do it, I want to do it with good friends. I think for it to be done right though, my friends have to change, more exploring, less judging. Too much time is wasted. I gotta stop doing that. I think it makes alot of sense to take things beyond the consumer level. Ultimately thats what we’re doing here. We’re taking things that other people made to make money off of us to then talk about it for others to hear. Whether that be blogging about anime or talking about the games we play. Oh yeah now I remember, I’m missing a piece here and that is I gotta start writting about the game I’m playing. If I do that I can better voice it out. Okay, gotta do that. I’m not just thinking about it now. Been thinking about all this for some time now. I’m still trying to figure out what I want for this blog. It can be an anything blog thats fine, but to be really serious, its gotta be on its own website and focused. So ok, I think I’ll propose that among all the other projects I have with friends left hanging. I think we all have a similar dreams, I can’t say that podcasting is a dream, actually I don’t know what is the ultimate dream right now, but I just want to be doing something fun. That fun comes with a routine and smart planning. You can’t be dragging your ass or your friend’s asses together to one place when its sometimes obivously… really a drag! What else could I say. Its time to realize the truth about this work. There’s only dedication towards path that has no light at the end, there isn’t a desired result in the end to be expecting. The light at the end of the tunnel is there when you surprise yourself, not when you finally can think “we did it”. Cause the world is always changing, its an unless battle. But a battle that is supposed to be fun all the way through. It just takes one person to ruin it. The person ruining it is not the person who ruined it, but the person who ruined it for the first guy and no one else on the team can feel that. They’re only judging the end result. Judge the good stuff in between and allow that to spread out to the other parts. So my other friend in the game industry said you gotta be able to laugh at yourself, that fun! Stop giving me that weird look. I really want to install skype right now, or any other crappy thing and start podcasting! Its not podcasting for podcasting’s sake, but just for talking about the games. Its like sharing your experience of the game with others, you don’t have to share knowledge. The ‘want’ at the top of this pyramid is the experience. People want to experience what you experience. They want to know, the new knowledge of this world is knowing what the experience is and convincing others to seek out that experrience to enjoy for themselves. I love sharing what I feel about something, thats why I blog about the anime I watch quite a bit. But I don’t blog to tell others about the anime, I gave up on that cause I realized that it was wrong. This is already a huge wall of text that doesn’t flow properly at all. I kinda wanted to talk about Star Ocean: The Last Hope. I mean its what triggered me to start writing all this, though I don’t think I got it all down before getting side tracked. Sankakucomplex.com just made a post on Star Ocean, where the producer is said to have wanted to make an H game, but some was forced to do this rpg now. Star Ocean 4 is coming out in March I just realized, so if I want to talk about something new on a podcast, that would probably be the one, and I’ll use it as my deciding factor as when I’ll stomp into FutureShop and buy a 360. Right now through, I’m gonna stop typing crap and play my DS. Play it, so I can talk about it.